Interview

Posted by Barb

Interview excerpts with Barbara Sachs

Why do you call this a path of parenting?

I see a path as something that you dedicate yourself to grow through. It comes with intention. We choose this path as a way to develop and know ourselves as deeply as we can and be as real as we can and pass that on to our children. It is like a blessing. We have the possibility to become more than we think we are and more than we were raised with. We have the possibility of passing on to another generation awareness of truth of who they are in this world we live in. I just feel such gratitude to all the parents that are trying so hard to do the best they can to bring up human beings that contribute to the world and know the truth of who they are.
Are there any particular points you teach in parenting?

I want to inspire parents to recognize that the only instrument we have is ourselves and so we need to continually refine ourselves till we know who we are in our depth and be able to connect and live from this depth as often as we can. It is important to make parenting and developing into mature human beings as realistic as possible. I notice it is common to idealize and want the ideal and then in everyday life get down on ourselves as not making it and telling ourselves “I am being a bad parent”. First I say “there is no such thing as a perfect parent.” All parents I have met only want the best for their children and want to be the best parent for them so their children will have the most opportunity to develop into themselves. This gets some of their superego off their back which is essential.

I also say our children are our teachers. So we need to respect them as they are pointing out to us through their actions, exactly where we need to grow and develop. We can see how we react or respond to their behaviors, how we support or what we support in them. Once we recognize essential aspects in ourselves it is easier to see them in our children and support these to continue to develop. We learn how to recognize, awaken and nurture the spiritual aspects of ourselves and our children.
So what about grandparents, or parents- to- be who also attend your workshops or have consultations with you?

Same thing goes for grandparents, babysitters, teachers of children. Having grandparents in the class is a new element which I just introduced. So, it’s a new area for me and I myself am a grandparent. It doesn’t make a difference if we are a grandparent or parent, babysitter, or teacher; all children need mirroring. The more we recognize who we truly are at our depth then we can mirror that in our children.

I work with a lot of parents-to-be. These people are a real joy because they are so open and available. They have such a desire to learn how to bring this being into the world and how to help this being along in the world. They usually come with a world perspective that is wanting to give to their children much of the spiritual practice and gleanings they have gotten so far.
How is this spiritual or a spiritual practice?

I see spiritual development as a process of maturation of the human being as we become more and more identified with Being and discover essential presence in our experience of ourselves. It is becoming ever more open, vulnerable to our direct experience of what is. Since this is the orientation of this work it is spiritual in nature.

The reason it’s spiritual parenting is because most of us weren’t raised recognizing or knowing about being. Some of us were pigeon-holed: you’re a good athlete, or you’re intelligent, or you’re so pretty, those kinds of things on the egoic level. Not many people were mirrored back that was a very kind thing to do or you are sweet, or talk in terms of gratitude. Many were not even encouraged to listen to their inner world or even having the person/beingness acknowledged.
What do you learn as a parent that you can take into the rest of your life?

What I learned as a parent from my children not only developed me, but it helped me to be a better, more real person. It helped me in the world by giving me more compassion and more understanding of how difficult it is to raise another person to contribute in a good way to this world. It also helped me to have more understanding toward my own parents.

I think anything that we do if we inquire into it with an openness, a curiosity and wanting to see the truth of the situation as it is becomes part of us and then we are living that and it goes out into the world.arenting is because most of us weren’t raised recognizing or knowing about being.

What I learned as a parent from my children not only developed me, but it helped me to be a better, more real person.